AMA: Taking Care of Yourself in a World That’s Hard on Reproductive Health and Rights

From self-care advice to an imaginary performance on the Great British Bake Off, Rachel Fey, Vice President, Policy, and Strategic Partnerships at Power to Decide, asks our host Jennie Wetter a collection of ask me anything (AMA) questions!

Links from this episode

Power to Decide on X
Power to Decide on Facebook
Rachel Fey on X
Killing the Black Body
Thx Birth Control

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Transcript

Jennie: Welcome to rePROs Fight Back, a podcast on all things related to sexual and reproductive health, rights, and justice. [music intro]

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Jennie: Hey rePROs. How's everybody doing? I'm your host Jennie Wetter, and my pronouns are she/her. And y'all, I'm excited to just completely hand over the reins today because we're doing an AMA episode. So, Rachel, would you like to introduce yourself and take everything over?

Rachel: Muahahaha! Sorry, it's Halloween month! We've gotta have a voice. My name is Rachel Fey, also she/her pronouns, and I am the VP of Policy and Strategic Partnerships at Power to Decide. And really happy to turn the tables on Jennie today and ask her the questions. So, should we get started? Are you game?

Jennie: Let's go.

Rachel: All right. So, I always wonder what my favorite podcast hosts are listening to themselves. So, what are three of your favorite podcasts?

Jennie: Okay, so I'm gonna cheat and do, like, some buckets, but I'll be quick.

Rachel: Oh, classic policy answer.

Jennie: I know right? But I figured I should do some that are related to our work.

Rachel: Yes.

Jennie: So, I love Boom! Lawyered. Never missed an episode.

Rachel: Yes.

Jennie: They're so great. I am not a legal expert and that is where I go to get, so I sound smart when I'm talking about our legal things.

Rachel: Same. Same.

Jennie: Along that vein, I listen to Strict Scrutiny, and I also really loved the A Files and it's like a limited series. There was only like eight or 10 episodes, but absolutely worth a binge—learned so much. And then for fun, I love If Books Could Kill, they take the airport reads and, like, deconstruct why their trash basically.

Rachel: That sounds so good.

Jennie: Right? It's like, Atomic Habits, like all of those like that. And like, just like breaking 'em down like this makes no sense. And there are some that like, are truly delightful, like, Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus...

Rachel: Oh my God, yes.

Jennie: There are some great ones that they have done. So, definitely recommend. And then, How Did This Get Made?

Rachel: Ooh, that's a good podcast. I enjoy that.

Jennie: So fun. And then, Maintenance Phase and Vibe Check. Like, those are my fun go-to podcasts. I listen to podcasts a lot.

Rachel: Same.

Jennie: So, I have the list, right? So, what are your favorite three?

Rachel: Oh my god. Well, shout out to Boom! Lawyered and Strict Scrutiny. I now need to listen to the A Files. I also like along the lines of, of the work that we do really enjoyed Crossing the Line, which is a podcast about people traveling for abortion care and the immediate aftermath of the Dobbs decision. And actually, a little bit even before, during Texas's SB8 abortion ban. I also loved the season of Slow Burn that dealt with Roe and abortion access in the United States. Totally learned things that I did not know, and I've been doing this a long time. So, those are a few more I would add to the work pile. And then, I like my political comedy and I love British humor and just the sort of dry, sarcastic humor that comes with it. So, I'm a big fan of something called The Bugle, which is, like, kind of a news slash comedy podcast with some rotating, but a few regular comedians. And they tackle both American politics, British politics, world politics. And it just makes me laugh. And then, I'm a big history buff and I'm super into this podcast that only comes out every other week called Cold War Conversations that's just really oral histories of people who were in unique positions during the Cold War, like, serving as a guard on the Berlin Wall or things like that. And it's really fascinating to hear first person stories like that, but no, I, listen, I'm like you, I listen to a lot of podcasts. It's kind of my...anytime I'm doing a menial task or walking or on public transit, like that's my, that's my chance to catch up. If you could be a guest on any particular podcast, what podcast would it be?

Jennie: So, I feel like I have to pick If Books Could Kill, like I know they don't like, have guests and like, whatever, or they haven't in the past, but one, books are like a big passion of mine, huge reader. And I would love, like, I'm sure there are some like, repro related, maybe anti gender related books that would be fun to be part of the peanut gallery. Not the one who has to do all the work of, like, the research to break down why it was terrible, but can like, contribute snarky comments and be fun.

Rachel: I would just like to say if they haven't covered the book, The Rules, which was very common in the early odds that some girl in my college dorm gave to me. And I don't think it was meant as a compliment. I would love to see that one broken down because that's some toxic stuff there.

Jennie: Oh, I dunno if I've heard that one.

Rachel: Oh God. It's just a lot of 50 style dating rules that we're trying to get revived. It's terrible. Do you listen to books on tape or do, what are you reading right now? Audio listening or reading?

Jennie: Yeah, so I, it's so funny. As much as I listen to podcasts, I did not get into audio books until more recent. Shout out to the Libby app, use that religiously to listen to...generally that's where I listen to my nonfiction books. So, I always have like a couple books going at a time.

Rachel: Same.

Jennie: So, like, a fun one, maybe a work-related one and then like a nonfiction. So, right now I just started the new Eric Larson book on the Civil War. I can't remember what it's called. It's about Fort Sumner.

Rachel: He's great. Yeah. I loved his oh my God, the one about Churchill.

Jennie: Oh yeah, yeah.

Rachel: The Vile...I can't remember what it's called.

Jennie: I know, right? This is the thing. They're all kind of…

Rachel: The Splendid and the Vile.

Jennie: I was gonna say generically named-

Rachel: He writes incredible books.

Jennie: But like, that's not, that's not fair. The Demon of Unrest is what I started.

Rachel: Yes.

Jennie: And then my fun one that I had just finished is called The Spell Shop and it's cozy. So, all this is to say as not minus the Eric Larson one, I am absolutely leading into my spooky season, witchy season vibes.

Rachel: Yes. I love that for you.

Jennie: Yes. So I read The Spell Shop and it's this cute little witchy cozy romance-y book. There's a talking spider plant, there's magic and baking and, like, she opens a jam shop as cover for her spell shop. It's just cute little witchy vibes and romance.

Rachel: Oh my God. I love it. I love it. It's making me think of a book…I can't think of the name right now, but I'm gonna send it to you after the fact. You can tell your readers or your listeners about it. You know, I think reading is one of my self-care.

Jennie: Yes. A hundred percent.

Rachel: One of the ways that I handle the stress of working in repro. And so, I'm actually like you, I read my books, my nonfiction, I tend to listen to in audio. And then when I'm reading it's like my escape. I give it all my attention and it needs to be something really removed from work. So you talked about, like, cozy and, like, I love a genre called Cozy Murder Mysteries.

Jennie: I haven't investigated that nearly enough 'cause that sounds like straight up my jam.

Rachel: It's the equivalent of if you've ever watched Midsummer Murders on PBS. Yeah. You know, it's, like, how not to get murdered in a quaint English village, which is by the way, a hilarious article you can find on the internet. Definitely don't go to the village fête.

Jennie: Exactly.

Rachel: It's that kind of thing. And there's this delightful series called The Thursday Murder Club about four older folks in an assisted living facility that solve murders like cold cases in their spare time for fun.

Jennie: Delightful. It's been on my like, I feel like I pick it up and look at it a lot and haven't actually pulled the trigger. So I need to do that.

Rachel: Highly, highly recommend.

Jennie: I'm watching The Discovery of Witches, which is based off a book series that I had read the first three of which was a trilogy, but there's like two more that have since come out, which is also delightful and fun.

Rachel: That keeps coming up on my suggestion list when I am scrolling through streaming services. So, I think at some point, like…

Jennie: It screams you, Rachel, like it starts in Oxford. There's some time travel involved…

Rachel: My jam.

Jennie: Back to, like, old England, it all feels like totally you.

Rachel: All of it. Oh, I love that. Okay. Now, this makes me think of this 'cause every time that I look at your posts that are not about repro, there is one other love in your life outside of your incredibly adorable, beautiful cats...I won't let [indiscernible]...so beyond those two is baking. And as a fellow lover of The Great British Bake Off, I have to ask you, if you were a judge, what would your signature challenge be?

Jennie: Okay, so this is hard. So, I'm not a pie person, right? Like, I don't, pie crust isn't really my thing. I don't know, it's just not my jam. So not pies. I'm thinking cake and something, like, fun and small. So I was thinking maybe like petit fours.

Rachel: Ooh, that's a hard one. Especially if you had like, not the right, like, not complete instructions. I could see you being very, you know, Prue, very Mary Berry about that one.

Jennie: Right? But how fun, like…

Rachel: I like it.

Jennie: All these little perfect bites.

Rachel: Delightful judging experience too 'cause sometimes I look at it and I'm like, they have to eat nine of those?

Jennie: Right?

Rachel: How ever many of them are left in the challenge at that point? Oh, I love that. I don't know what I would challenge them to make that would be that hard. But I think Madeleines are tough. I feel like they've done that one before. But I will say like, that's-

Jennie: Because I remember somebody had a really wild bump thing that happened on theirs.

Rachel: Yeah. Their bump went, like, way more than a normal Madeleine bump.

Jennie: It was like Mount Everest.

Rachel: [Laughs] Yeah. I actually really like Madeleines and I find them, like, so elegant to give people like, oh, here's some Madeleines I made. You know, really they're just little mini snack cakes in a shell shape.

Jennie: They seem so fancy.

Rachel: But I feel like that would be a good technical challenge. What would your signature bake be?

Jennie: It would have to be something bread related 'cause I feel like I don't do all of the like fussy decorating things. This goes back to Christmas cookies and all of the icing and like, it was like fun when you were a kid when you were just like throwing sprinkles on there. But when it got to be like, you have to do all these perfect whatevers and like, ugh, no, let me just do, like, chocolate chip cookies where I scoop 'em out. I'm not doing all the fancy extra work. So, I'm thinking bread and I don't know, some of the really fancy bread sculptures. Like remember what was it Paul, was that his name? The lion?

Rachel: Yes. That was incredible. And Paul Hollywood was like, that's one of the most amazing things I've ever seen in bread.

Jennie: Yeah. So nothing quite that fancy, but like there've been some like really fun things that I've seen people do. So, that would be fun, I think. How about you?

Rachel: So, I am not a bread baker. It is something I am slowly getting myself into. I tried some challah, I tried some cinnamon rolls and the challah actually came out well. The cinnamon rolls did not. Too tough. So, I'm guessing over proved, but...so I think I would go from one of my favorites, which is so incredibly easy but so delightful if you do it right, which is a clafouti, which is just a French custard dessert. Oh my God. And shout out to Ina Garten's recipe for pear clafoutis. It is delightful. I think everybody should try new bakes every once in a while, but when you find things that you're just like, I can put that together in no time, like, I can "wow" with that one.

Jennie: Like, all of a sudden you become known for it. So, yes, now I'm known for, like, everyone asks for me to bring bread to things, but my one before that was I made these amazing molasses cookies that-

Rachel: I remember seeing those.

Jennie: -people would ask me to bring everywhere.

Rachel: Wow. I remember those from the earlier lockdown days of your baking post.

Jennie: They're really good. But y'all, it's just a recipe. Everyone's like yours is so much better. I-

Rachel: See, baking is just a recipe, and you can follow it. Cooking is much more difficult because you, I need recipes. Like that's how my brain works, which is hilarious because when people tell me like, well how does it work in Congress? Say appropriations or something? Yeah. Like, well, there's the process as it's supposed to happen…

Jennie: Exactly.

Rachel: And then there's what really happens, which is that at a certain point in the year, almost like clockwork, it goes off the rails and they make it up from there. So, it's like you start out with a baking recipe and then it becomes just like a pasta free for all. [laughs] But yeah, no, I think baking is an excellent way to deal with the stress of working in a tough space like this. Do you have any other recommendations for people working in this world, maybe for people who are just starting out in repro?

Jennie: So, one of the things that, so I came from environment and development. So, I came from outside of the field and so I did a lot of reading of things around things that were happening. And I got really involved in the feminist space that was happening in the late 2000s. And so, there was so much great stuff to read and catch, catch up on, but what I really missed out on doing until later in my career working in repro was reading some of the foundational repro justice stuff. And like, I think that would be something I wish I would've done sooner. And so, I think that's great. And then the other big thing for new people coming into this field is like, don't light yourself on fire, man. Like, there is so much happening, take on things, but don't take everything on. Find a way to leave your work when you're done for the day because the burnout is real in our field. And all of this stuff is so close to home and personal, and you just carry that weight with you, and it can be hard to turn off, right? Because people are like, what do you do? And all of a sudden you're talking about all of this stuff that is emotionally heavy. So, finding the way to not be lighting yourself on fire or trying to do all of the things like find out what your things are and do them and do them well.

Rachel: Those are two great pieces of advice I wish I had heard when I was starting out because I definitely lit myself on fire.

Jennie: I'm terrible at that man. I still am not great at it, but like, you know, I try.

Rachel: I think I, when I do informational interviews now with young people who are sort of in college or just coming out and interested in this space, I almost uniformly recommend that they read Killing the Black Body. Yep. Like before you…just put everything down. So to all your listeners, if you haven't read this, it is foundational. It will change how you think about all of these things and the intersections between them. Power to Decide, actually a few years ago we had a book club for it.

Jennie: Oh, nice.

Rachel: I read it before, but it had been a while, others had not. And we just got together over lunchtime and talked about different chapters and what it made us think about in our work. And I found it helpful because, you know, when I first read it, I didn't have anybody to talk about in the movement or what it meant to me to learn those things. So, but yeah, not letting yourself on fire is huge because you have to be in this for the long run. I now manage a team of four of us on my team of varying levels of seniority. And I know some of them already know this, but some are young and one of the things that I try to stress is, like, when we have downtime, take that downtime. So right now, you know, it's October…recess is a weird way to call it. But Congress is off campaigning and they won't be back until after the election and then it's gonna get nutty. So now's the time to take those nine to five days 'cause sometimes we can't control the calendar or what's being thrown at us externally, but when we have control over it, that is the most important time to sort of really think about your wellbeing and taking care of yourself. So, 100% co-sign that and everybody take Jennie's advice.

Jennie: Rachel, thank you so much for being here. I had so much fun talking to you and I'm just really grateful to have you do this.

Rachel: I love talking to you. I mean, I could talk forever, whether it's baking or repro or anything in between. But yeah, I just wanna say thank you for everything that you cover in this podcast. I've recommended it to people who don't work in our space who just wanna know a little more about, you know, what's happening and, and what it means for them. And I know it's a huge service that you provide for people who wanna stay up to date on this stuff. So, thank you for everything you do.

Jennie: Oh, thank you. I'm a huge fan of yours as well. Like, if I ever have questions about birth control, you are my person.

Rachel: Oh my goodness. Just wanna make sure everybody knows, like, birth control policy.

Jennie: Yes.

Rachel: Talk to Dr. Raegan if you have questions about actual birth control.

Rachel: And also, Thanks Birth Control is coming up next month.

Rachel: Yes it is. Mark your calendars. It is Thursday, November 14th and we will be using the hashtag #ThxBirthControl on all social channels. So, check it out and join us in shouting out what birth control makes possible for you, for everyone, however much you wanna show your love for birth control.

Jennie: Okay. Thanks Rachel!

Rachel: Thank you.

Jennie: Okay, rePROs. I hope everybody enjoyed my fun conversation with Rachel. It was so great to get to do and ask me anything with her. We had so much fun talking, so I hope you all enjoyed getting to listen in on our conversation. I always love getting to talk to Rachel. She is just such a wonderful advocate and I enjoy working with her. So getting to just chat with her about fun things on the podcast was pretty amazing. So anyway, I will see all of you next week. [music outro] If you have any questions, comments, or topics you would like us to cover, always feel free to shoot me an email. You can reach me at jennie@reprosfightback.com or you can find us on social media. We're at @RePROsFightBack on Facebook and Twitter or @reprosfb on Instagram. If you love our podcast and wanna make sure more people find it, take the time to rate and review us on your favorite podcast platform. Or if you wanna make sure to support the podcast, you can also donate on our website at reprosfightback.com. Thanks all!